Friday we celebrated our 12th anniversary. At 1:00pm my brother came to watch our two youngest kids and Tim and I took off to Salt Lake City. Our friends picked up all the kids around 4pm and watched them the rest of the time. Thank you all for your help! I needed this day sooooo much.
First we went to ACME Burger Company. I had a winter squash bisque and a lamb burger on a sweet potato bun. The soup was incredible, the burger, though good didn't blow me away because I am not a burger fanatic and I don't think any burger could wow me. For dessert we had a scoop of guava ginger honey sorbet. Tasty!
We next went to Tony Caputos foreign market, bought some Chris Blue Chocolate, and two other dark chocolate (70 %) bars (Scharffen Berger and Green and Blacks, to see the differences in flavor, we are still enjoying that, but will finish that tonight. I think we have started a new decadent latenight indulgence in our marriage.)
We also picked up a baguette with some artisan balsamic vinegar, and some cheaper chocolate for the kids.
Next we went to Blue Boutique. . . and will refrain from going into detail about that! Then we went to IKEA. Going places that you usually go with your kids makes for an even more dramatic example of how much easier life is without kids. It was enjoyable and relaxing. Tim and I could sit and talk about plans for rooms and not wonder, where are the kids. . . are they climbing on stuff they shouldn't?
We ended our day together with Sakura, a Japanese restaurant with a grill and sushi bar. We had soup and salad and shared three sushi rolls. It really hit the spot for us.
This experience drove home something for me. That is, that life can be more fun than it has been for me lately. IKEA is as fun as I think it should be. . as long as the kids aren't there. Have you ever had the experience where something sounds like fun and a good idea, then you get there and it is just stressful and not fun? You wonder why your idea of how fun it should be and how fun it was just don't match. I think it is because in my image of the activity it is missing an important element. The reality of kids. That has happened a lot lately to me. I got in a slump thinking life just isn't fun.
I learned from this date, it is just because life with kids adds extra challenges, (extra joys too) but I need to allow for that and know the quality of these experiences will be better as kids get older (and are either more fun to have with or can stay home) I was also reassured that Tim and I can have a good conversation when kids aren't there to interupt and we aren't tired out of our minds.
The question I leave you with is, is it better to just be kind of depressed thinking life just isn't that fun, giving up and giving in. . or being grumpier at your kids realizing that they are to blame for the lack of quality of your enjoyment in a lot of things. I have felt more positive in some ways the last few days, indulging myself more, but have less tolerance for my kids interupting and whining at the same time. Hmmmm. Which is more healthy?
I need to say however,in defense of kids, they can make life more fun too. I remember the first summer Tim and I were married we went on a camping trip. It was a lot of fun, but I was a little jealous of the family next to us with a bunch of kids. They seemed to be having a party with so much fun company of kids. We went camping last summer and it was like what I hoped it would be. I am excited to go on a trip to Washington with our kids and I know they will add a lot of fun to the experience. Kids do add a lot of joy to life too. Just not to IKEA.
5 comments:
Interesting question! Our trip to San Antonio this last week was full of fun, also full of the challenges of traveling with kids, especially our new 2 year-old. We could have easily felt like our vacation wasn't that fun in the end, but it was! No matter how many tantrums our little one had or the fact that our trip needed to somewhat revolve around the kids, we all had a blast and fun family memories. I don't think you should have to resort to being depressed or grumpy about the quality of life you have when the kids are little. It's all in how you choose to look at it. If you think about how cute they are when they're little and how much easier it might be as they get older (I'm doubtful--I mean am I kidding myself?!), then you can find enjoyment in living in the present while realizing that everyday isn't going to be a great day.
Honestly, some things are just more fun without your kids. That's okay. Some things are more fun with your kids (Christmas and Disneyland). That's the way life is. I'm a big believer in keeping my adult life separate from my child's life sometimes. There are places she shouldn't be and things she shouldn't be doing. I don't take her to the yarn shop with me. That is supposed to be a pleasurable experience. With her there I have to worry about what she's touching with dirty hands, and it ends up not being what I want and I resent her. Therefore, I wait until I have sufficient time by myself to devote to things like the yarn store. This does mean I may have to wait a long time for that chunk of time, but it's worth it.
Of course, I only have the one, so what do I know?
Congrats on the anniversary! The day sounds just wonderful. We went to Ikea for the first time a couple months ago and it is definitley not the place for kids. Makes me kind of look forward to when Lauren will be old enough to babysit and Ben and I can take at least a couple hours together alone.
Having kids really brings home Eve's statement of "it is better for us to endure the evil so that we may know the good" or however it went. ;) Not that kids are evil, but they do bring out some of the tougher challenges in life. I wouldn't trade them in though and it's nice to have the moments to yourself to enjoy relaxation and peace even if the kids are banging on the door that they are hungry and someone breathed on them.
Tim and I were once talking in a restaraunt, on a date. We discussed, who is enjoying themselves more, those without kids or those who have kids and left them home. I think it is the latter. Why? Because for those wihtout kids, this is just another meal.. for those who left their kids home they are having a special break so yes Rebekah, kids do help you know the good from the bad in that way too.
I'm glad you were able to get away and have a nice anniversary vacation. I'm with you, kids really do make things more complicated and it's hard when reality doesn't match your previous image of things. I hope Seattle turns out fun for your family.
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