I am taking a Mediation and Negotiation class right now. I LOVE it. So interesting. So relevant to my life. I am not currently planning on becoming a Mediator but it is a Legal, Social Work and Psychology cross listed course for a reason. I am sure I will have lots of opportunities to use it in my future (hopeful) career as a counselor. I also know I will be able to use it in my relationships now.Last night, in class, we talked about Story Telling. The first step of mediation is the Opening Statement when you as a mediator explain the rules and the goals of mediation. The next step is allowing each party to tell their story. No one is allowed to interrupt and it is the role of the mediator to make sure this rule is kept. This is a very important step for working out disputes because it allows everyone to be heard.
How many times do I interrupt Tim when he is sharing his feelings in a disagreement? It is always out of defensiveness, pride or over confidence that I know what he is going to say next (Yeah, I am a jerk.) How much more quickly could we solve our issues if I didn't do that? Do I need a mediator to tell me to shut up so Tim can share his frustrations? I sure hope not. What a simple little thing that could make a big improvement. We are happy together (well I am, I can't speak for Tim) but no matter how happy you are in your marriage, it can always be better right? I love this class!!!!!!!
3 comments:
Not just marriages. I realized I do this at board meetings. I interrupt to defend myself, and then the other guy complains he isn't being "heard." Maybe I should stop interrupting him.
The next time Aaron interrupts me I'm going to tell him to Shut Up!
When he asks why I'm going to tell him that Kristen says so.
That's why! ;-)
Good comment. I think it is really hard to be quite when someone else is sharing their side. We can all be better about shutting up and listening during disagreements. Thanks for the reminder.
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