One Clear Voice

I do not consider myself a fan of Christian rock or Mormon pop music either, except for a few exceptions. I do however love when I hear a musician who usually sings regular pop, alternative or country, singing songs with meaningful lyrics. For example, Switchfoot is one of my favorite groups. All of their songs are thoughtful and have great messages, without being "Christian".

I was a huge Peter Cetera fan in the 80's, back when I loved cheesy romantic pop music, when he sang for Chicago and in his solo career. This is my favorite song by him now that I am older however. It sounds just like all the love songs he used to sing but isn't about cheesy stuff. This is probably considered Christian (worship.net in the address is a big hint I imagine) but it isn't preachy. They play it on regular music mix channels all the time. If they didn't, I would have never heard it because I don't listen to Christian music radio stations. Anyway, I just wanted to share it with you. It is nice to hear a song about something so special to me on the radio amidst all the other stuff.
http://www.wccworship.net/Music/Digit/One_Clear_Voice.mp3

One Clear Voice
Sung by Peter Cetera

Whole world is talking
Drowning out my voice
How can I hear myself
With all this noise
But all this confusion
Just disappears
When I find a quiet place
Where I can hear

(chorus)
One clear voice
Calling out for me to listen
One clear voice
Whispers words of wisdom
I close my eyes
'Till I find what I've been missing
If I'm very still, I will hear
One clear voice

I'm always searching
For which path to take
Sometimes I'm so afraid
To make mistakes
Somewhere inside me
Stronger than my fears
Just like the sound of music
To my ears, I hear

chorus

Parenting Styles and Religion

I saw an interesting poll on the news yesterday. It talked about the state of religiosity in America. 81% of Americans claim to be a member of some religion. 44% change their religion in their life time. They pointed out a lady who left the Catholic church to join an Evangelical church. The news reporter said it was because it had less rules. This report really made me think about religions and parenting styles. They really apply. Religions teach that we have a God that has rules. The way these religions enforce these rules, and how they depict God are in a way a parenting style of their own. I realize I am leaving out Eastern religions, Hindu, Buddhist, Islam etc. I don't know enough about them to include them in this comparison. I am only referring to Christian religions in this blog.

There are Authoritarian parents and religions that have high control, low affection. They are demanding and controling. They are likely to say "Do it because I am the parent and I say so!" The Catholic religion is the best example of that style of religion, that I can think of. They have a lot asked of them but their doctrine doesn't stress so much a loving and approachable God. You could say this style emphasises justice.

Then there are the Permissive parents and religions. There are two styles of Permissive Parenting: Permissive- indulgent (low demand, high affection) and Permissive-indifferent (low demand, low effection). I think there is no religion that reflects the indifferent style. That is having no religion at all perhaps. Permisive-indulgent parenting style is low control and high affection. These parents and religions don't make a lot of demands on their kids or members but teach how much Jesus loves them. Evangelical churches tend to have this style of "parenting" This style emphasises mercy.

The most effective style of parenting according to social sciences is Authoritative. This style has both high levels of affection and high demands. The LDS church is a good example of this style. A lot is expected from it's members but they are taught that their Heavenly Father loves them very much. They are invited to be close to Him and their Savior Jesus Christ. Their religion also does not have a "Do it because I say so" attitude They are allowed to ask questions and find out for themselves that something is good and true. They are commanded even to do so. This style is an equal balance of justice and mercy. ----- Original Message -----

Orson Scott Card Address

Last weekend my husband and I attended BYU's "Life, the Universe and Everything" their Science Fiction/ Fantasy writing symposium. ( If you havn't started the video clip on the above blog entry, you can do so now!)

My favorite speaker there was their Guest of Honor, Orson Scott Card. He is the author of such books as "Ender's Game", "Wyrms", "Worthing Saga" etc.

In the address I attended, he spoke on the topic of "Why are LDS writers so heavily represented in the Science Fiction/Fantasy writing genre?" What he had to say on the subject really made me think.

Among other things, he said that as a religion we believe in the scientific method. We are not told to just believe what others say. We are challenged to find out things for ourselves. We are told in the "Book of Mormon" by Moroni to pray about it for ourselves to know that it is true. We are constantly told we cannot live on borrowed light and we must get our own testimonies.

Another reason we are interested in Science Fiction and Fantasy is that we believe in miracles. We believe in practical heroes. They will do all they can and then some other "force" will come in and help him/her to conquer whatever it is they are fighting. In a fictional book it would be called some sort of "magic" but in reality it is our Heavenly Father who is helping us through miracles and Priesthood power.

I am grateful for a gospel that not only tells me we have a Heavenly Father who loves us, that we have Prophets, and a Savior. We are told and expected to find this out for ourselves that it is aall true. Card's address also made me grateful for how the gospel helps me to have a more positive view of our world and our future. It is a gospel of joy and hope and because of it, I know that despite hard trials in life there are happy endings. In fact if you live a righteous life there are no unhappy endings. Everything will work out for our good.

One of my favorite quotes by C.S. Lewis explains this ability to dream and believe in happy endings.

"You and I who still enjoy fairy tales have less reason to wish actual childhood back. We have kept it's pleasures and added some grown-up ones as well"

Why Wal-mart is like life.

1. You have a greeter welcome you when you get there....You have parents when you enter the world. Neither is always as friendly as you think they should be.

2. When you go to Walmart there is nothing at the store that will actually make you happy. There is plenty to entertain you for a short time but nothing that will bring you lasting joy. The world is the same way. Sure we will find some fun stuff here but the only things that will bring true joy, the world can't offer. You have to find those elswhere. Only the things you come in with or have left at home give you that.

3. You need to go the store to survive. You need food, clothes, shelter and TP, so you need to do it even though it is a miserable expereince and it is frustrating to spend money on stuff that just gets consumed. There is pain and sorrow and the world is a dangerous place . If you make the wrong choices you can get messed up but we had to come to progress.

4. It is easy to get distracted by the funner less important and healthy things. Good idea to go with a list. In life, we are here to grow, be tested and bless one another. It isn't always as fun as some of the stuff the world suggests but you'll regret it if you get sidetracked and forget why you are here. The list is the gospel or the scriptures. They remind us what we came for. In both cases, of course a little fun is ok...in moderation...as long as you aren't sacrificing the more important stuff.

5. Our abiltiy to have good relationships is tested....A lot. The point is NOT to kill your kids. You are tired, your husband is tired, your hungry, you all want to kill eachother, not to mention some of the other wonderful customers that can be so rude at times and the unavailable or worse grumpy workers. We need to learn in this life to be kind to one another even when we are stressed.

6. We learn from experience lots of things, like what product is good and what is not, and" Sure that ice cream looks really good but it isn't good for me and I will regret it." "I think that buying something will fill a void for me cause I am feeling depressed, but later I will regret it and it wont really bring me satisfaction." We keep buying the stuff in our weak moments though....hmmm maybe when I am perfect I will be able to resist the Ben and Jerrys.

7. You learn these lessons and you teach them to your kids when they are begging for things that aren't good for them. It is our responsibility to teach our kids from our experience what things will bring happiness in this life and how to make good choices.


8. When I go to Walmart now, I always bring my cell phone. If Tim came with me it is easier to find him later. If he didn't I can ask questions about things we might have at home already . In life it is a good idea to stay in close touch with those you love so they can help you make good choices and guide you. They can help give you support when you are having a tough time too.

9. Your kids can get lost...Keep an eye on them! Don't send them out with out them knowing the way to get back. Teach them to be safe. We have to teach them the gospel so when they can't be watched constantly they know how to get home to our Heavenly Father on their own.

10. You die a little every time you go to Walmart....just like in life.

Welcome to the New First Presidency!

I am SO excited about the new First Presidency! I loved Hinkley, but I love Monson, Eyring and Uchtdorf. When I found out Uchtdorf was the new 2nd Counselor I cried. I spoke in my last blog about how Hinkley's absence made me feel a little shaken since he has been the President when both of my Parents died and most of my adult years. A constant comforting presence. Uchtdorf has an even closer connection with my parents and my past. What a comfort it gives me. And what a joy to be a name dropper. :^)

I lived in Wiesbaden Germany for 10 years (1980-1990). We were in the Frankfurt Servicemans stake. President Uchtdorf was the President of the Frankfurt Stake during some of these years. Although he wasn't our Stake President, we knew of him and my parents met him. Not to mention that just hearing the German accent makes me feel at home. I was excited when he was called as an apostle and am surprised and delighted by his call to the first Presidency. This morning I thought it would be wonderful if he was the new counselor but he was so new, I didn't even think to hope.

All three of them are my favorite speakers. Uchtdorf in particular always gives such great analogies of the gospel and how it helps us in life. Eyring's talk "Oh Remember, Remember" was my favorite talk this last conference. Monson has always been my favorite story telling speaker. He is another constant presence in my life. I will love learning from our new prophet President Monson and his counselors and apostles as I did President Hinkley. I am so thankful to have a prophet and apostles who lead us with love and help keep us safe in this world.

A Fond Farewell

I know this is a week late, but I like to think about things a while before I try to express my feelings or thoughts. A week ago today Gordon B. Hinkley, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and more importantly, Prophet of God, ended his mission on this earth. I was surprised by feeling choked up when this happened. I have never felt this way when a prophet died before. President Howard W. Hunter was one of my favorite prophets, but I didn't feel quite this way when he passed on.

Gordon B. Hinkley became the president of the church when I had been home from my mission for 1 month and it was another two months when I met Tim. He has been the president of the church as long as I have been a wife and mother. It is kind of unnerving to have him gone.

He was the president of the church when both of my parents died and I think I have drawn comfort from his presence through these losses. I think he has been an honorary grandpa to all those who loved him. I will miss him, but I am grateful for the Gospel and the knowledge that the work of the Lord goes on without him as well.


My favorite story about Hinkley was the letter he recieved from his Dad when he wrote home complaining what a waste his mission was. "Forget about yourself and go to work" was his father's answer. He did this the rest of his life, even after his wife died, even after he was diagnosed with cancer. What a great example he was of work and selflessness. How happy he always seemed to be. I think he knew the secret to a happy life. Work hard and forget about yourself. I hope I can always keep that in mind in my life.


Here is a tribute I found on Youtube that I liked a lot because it has a lot of his own words and testimony. (I apologize for the pretty but slightly annoying song in the background.)

Keep your "secret" to yourself

I was at Wal-mart last night and happened to see "The Secret" I decided to flip through the pages. I have heard it has changed peoples lives and turned some from the gospel even. I have heard from word of mouth that it is just the gospel, but put differently. There may be some parts that are, but the little parts I read seemed rather aethistic. I wasn't terribly impressed.
The first thing I saw said that we do not have a certain purpose predetermined for our lives. Our purpose is what we decide is our purpose. Because we have free agency this is true. But we all have a purpose greater than any of us could come up for ourselves. We have to turn to our Heavenly Father to find out what it is. It is our choice if we want to live it.

Then it went on to say we will not be judged for how we live our lives. Hmmm. Comforting and scary at the same time. But we do need to be accountable for the decisions we make. Imagine if those people who do horrible things in this life are not judged for them becaue it is the purpose they found in their lives. We cannot recieve the blessings we seek if we do not make the right choices. This is just the way it is. It is a frightening deception that is often fed to us that we will not be held accountable for our actions.

Another thing I read was that this "secret" is like Aladdin's Genie. We just ask the Universe for what we want and we shall receive. How many fables are there about people asking Genies for what they want and realizing how foolish they were for asking. Also, how sad to not acknowledge the true giver of these blessings. The universe doesn't give us the the things we want and need, the creator of the Universe does. We have a loving parent who cares for us and wants us to know him. He knows us very well and he is no secret to us if we seek him.

I am so grateful for the gospel. "The Secret" is a philosophy trying to help lost and unhappy souls. A noble purpose. I believe it has some truth to it. Therefore it will bring people some of the joy this world has to offer. But there is something far better. Something that gives us the things of this world that will give us some happiness, but gives us things this world cannot offer. A peace and comfort this world does not offer.

One of my favorite C.S. Lewis quotes says that we cannot expect to find joy in this world...It cannot be found. The only things that will give us joy in this life are the things of God. Our spirits are created to be fed by the things of its creator.
I know this is true. The things of this world bring no such satisfaction. SO many of the richest people in this world are some of the most unahppy people. They have everything they could ever want, but something is missing still. They think it is bcause they still don't have enough or something is wrong with them becauase it doesn't make them happy. They keep looking in the wrong place.

The Power of Fasting

Ok, I am going to get spiritual now, So deal with it. I know, total whip lash from my last very carnal entry. Same day no less.
I have had two incredible experiences that have stregthened my testimony of fasting in the last few months. I am going to share the one that effected me and my family the most.

Last fallI was feeling like a really lousy mom. I had been feeling like that for a while...I am not sure I ever recovered from the stress of 4 kids. Mostly because I was totally impatient with them Every little thing would set me off. I realized I needed to change. I was more on the side of justice than mercy. It drove me nuts that one of my children had a tendency for hitting that none of my other kids did. It also bothered me that I couldn't tell him we don't hit people in our family because I swatted him on the bum far more times than I am proud to say. Never hard or to hurt..but to get his attention.This doesn't make it ok in my mind however. It wasn't working anyway. It broke my heart that every night I would realize I acted inapropriately and that I had let my emotions get the best of me. I knew my children deserved much better.

I knew I had been a much better parent in the past and I needed to get back to that. I knew I could do better. I fasted about it on Fast Sunday in November. When I went to church I received a lot of inspiration about parenting. The thing that stood out the most was that I needed to read my scriptures more and pray more. I could not make this change alone. Parenting is far too hard and important a job to not need help from Heavenly Father.

I have made a point of reading scriptures and/or a Conference talk every day since then and I am happy to report that I have witnessed a change in myself. I don't yell at my kids any where near as much as I used to. Not because of a great ability to withstand the temptation. The temptation is gone. I feel the spirit is there and it keeps me calm. I feel I have a greater amount of charity towards my kids. It gives me great joy to surprise my children with a hug when I know they think I will be mad. I correct them but quietly and lovingly instead of with anger.

The child who hit then has not hit since, and neither have I. I am very grateful for the spirit that is in our home because of this change. I can feel the differnce in my attitude towards my children in every way. I know I could not have made this black and white change so quickly. I keep asking myself..how come I am not more mad?

I testify that if you want help with changing yourself, Heavenly Father is there and anxious to help. I believe there is nothing he is more excited to help us with.