Thursday, October 19, 2006

I'm Cooking!

Sam has always shown an interest in cooking. When Joe was about his age, he got into books, he is now a geat reader and loves to do it. Elisabeth just talked, she was never into digging into stuff. Lincoln, loved to dig into my make up and Elisabeth's shoes. We will see where that takes him. Sam digs into dishes. First he was pulling out all of our plastic food containers which drove me nuts because it was always a mess. Then he started digging in the pots and pans (which is nice because we have less of those. His most recent habbit is to pull out our biggest cooking pot first thing, climb in and sit in it. It is like clock work. He does this every day while I am making dinner. We are trying to decide if he is saying, "I'll make dinner" or "When you find out what I just did, I am going to be in so much trouble", "I am so cute you could eat me up or perhaps it's "I am ready to be potty trained!"

Child abuse and Neglect Class

I am currently taking a class in Child abuse and neglect and Domestic violence. Very interesting class. Very sad too. My husband is taking art classes. He gets to come home and create works of art. I get to come home disgusted and disturbed much of the time. I do find it very interesting, as a future counselor and as a current mother, to see how abuse and neglect are defined, why it happens, and how it is treated. It makes me look more closely at how I treat my kids. I may not meet the actual standards for neglect or emotional maltreatment, but I can't be making my minimum my maximum. Just because I am not considered abusive or neglectful by the state does not make me a good parent.

Since I have started this class I find myself asking questions like: Am I patient enough with them? Do they know they are important to me? Do they feel loved and liked by me? Do I yell at them too much? I am also constantly wondering if too many weak moments make me neglectful. If I don't give them a bath twice this week, am I being neglectful? Is my house clean enough? Do I feed them adequatly? If I am not constantly following my 18-month old around the house and he gets bumps and scrapes because I am not there with him to catch him every time he I being negligent?

Two comforting things I have learned are that I really don't have much to fear. I am doing just fine according to their standards (and more importantly mine). Knowing the system is pretty comforting too. They are not watching our every move just waiting to snatch our children away at the first sign of abuse or neglect. The most helpful thing this class teaches me is just to be constantly be thinking of my childrens welfare. I feel like I am thinking more about my parenting. I am trying to be slower to act and speak in anger and quicker to give attention and hugs. I am not a perfect parent by any stretch but I can always improve. I think I have found this class as impactful in my parenting skills as my parenting class was.